Issue 01: April, or how to make an appeareance to reality when you're invested in fanatsy romance books

Spoiler alert, you can’t. You’ll just sit in that perfect imaginary world full of the most handsome dark-haired 6’4 men who yield shadows as their job, and you’ll half-ass your job and life. It’s SJM’s world, and we’re living in it.

But who’s to say what’s imaginary and reality? I felt like I was falling in love with these book boyfriends—kicking my feet, overly giddy, always thinking about them, and forgetting to eat. I lost 4 pounds from crushing too hard. They should write this in bold letters on the covers, it might create addiction, and continue at your own risk, but you might lose weight too, so happy times.

Anyhoo, we’re here together, for the first time. It’s exciting, isn’t it? For me, at least. For you, it’s probably boring, and right on cue, you’ll ask yourself, what is she talking about? and what am I reading?

Rest assured my darling, I ask that myself too.

You see, I’ve started this—and by this, I mean putting one word in front of the other and calling it carnage—so I can express myself. Tell the world who I am. Scream from the top of my lungs on a very high building in an extremely crowded city. Take in the polluted air that might cause some sort of cancer, but who cares, since you’re someone in a sea of millions of someones. We’re special, you know. All matcha drinkers, Taylor Swift listeners, Bridgerton watchers, and—excuse if I’m too bold with this statement but,—romance and fantasy romance readers. Gasps! Sighs! Dramatic fainting! And a drumroll. Tudududududm! Pathetic drumroll, right?!

Since you’ve read so far, I’ve got a tiny little gift for you. Which is this—and please pay close attention, maybe even lean a bit so you can read better—I plan on talking writing about the previous month in my life. It will definitely be a boring month, rest assured, but I’ll make it interesting for you. As much as I can without distorting the reality and going to live in Fourth Wing for the remainder of the year.

Bits and bobs that I enjoyed this month

What do you think I’ll start with? Long walks on the beach, or fantasy romance books?! My oh my, it was my second consecutive month of being a bear in hibernation and reading gut-wrenching and soul-sucking stories.

Please be aware that I’ve liked too many of the books I read this month, so if this isn’t your cup of tea, then by all means, brew yourself your favorite cup of tea and brace yourself for storytime.

The first book of the month was—drumroll—Powerless, which was more romance than fantasy, with incredible banter, and a perfect book boyfriend. Kai, you know who I am, so comment on this post with your number. Cough, we’re getting carried away, but it was definitely a 5 out of 5 because of Kai and his poetic monologues.

Next, we have the Once Upon a broken Heart trilogy—which if you haven’t guessed by now that I’m a fantasy newbie, then tough luck—which finally introduced a girl like all of us, who doesn’t know how to yield a sword or ride a dragon. The first book was good, the second one was phenomenal, and the third one was just meh.

Then we have the supreme Cruel Prince series, with an amazing cast of never-before-seen characters—I know it sounds sarcastic, but trust me I’m far from it—with Jude and Cardan at the forefront. I loved that Jude only cared about herself and did not want to save oh so many lives, and Cardan was an emo drama queen.

There were other books as well, but not as notable in my opinion, like the Shatter Me series or Flesh and Fire.

But enough chitchat.

Next on the agenda, are beauty findings, or finding out that I don’t live in a cave, but in a civilized society that focuses on beauty over substance or anything else. Or just freaking enjoying wearing blush and the color pink.

As I sit on my very small rectangular balcony, which spans in width from my buttocks to my toes, and I inhale that sweet, tangy smell of car exhaust, I remind myself, that even if now I look like a caveperson, in the morning I like using the Westman Atelier blush in the color Petal, and I feel awake and sort of alive.

Then, I’ll spritz my new amazing perfume that now matches my new personality of being whoever the heck I want, the Le Labo Bergamote 22. I used to only wear very fresh and floral perfumes, a bit dainty and not too troublesome, probably because I acted and strived to be like that. But once I started remembering who I was, I turned to amber-smelling perfumes, which have a bit—or a bit more—of something-something, for someone- someone that has a place in this world and something to say. Me waving from the balcony saying, I’m talking about me.

I’ll add some pictures at some point, in a later edit, once I receive my iPad (because I finally ordered one!).

Last but not least, at the start of the month, I visited Geneva, and I mostly read the whole time Powerless, but I also ate incredible gluten-free bagels, some snacky snacks made with peas and other beans, together with Migros hummus, and it was a delicacy.

I digress, even though I might write more about Geneva and add some photos too. At some point. But don’t wait up.

So that’s it, folks. See you next month!

Next in May: a lot of traveling, but probably lots of anxiety too.